Remember My Name

This is going to be a very difficult blog to write but I feel as if I need to post this to further give insight to women out there to be more aware of your surroundings. Always keep an open eye in parking lots, especially at night, and keep an open eye to people you may think you know and care about you.

I just wanted to state a few facts before I get any further into my blog:

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love.The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), in conjunction with Ms. Magazine, started this project in 1994 to create a national registry of names to increase public awareness of domestic violence deaths.Here is a link to their website
It Is Still Abuse If . . .
The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn’t a “better” or “worse” form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship. Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted!
There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be as equally frightening and is often more confusing to try to understand. Here is another great website

Now onto my blog. Its been really difficult these past two years for me to get a grip on myself as a person. I have been in this type of relationship. Let me start at the beginning. These type of men tell you that your the only one for them, and they shower you with love and affection and send you cute letters and emails. That is for about the first 7 to 8 months. Then once they realize they got you where they want you, they begin changing. They begin turning things around on you. When you get upset its because your the one who was the one at fault, not them. They begin to not listen to anything you have to say. Then one day they will act like nothing has ever happened and you'll forgive them, because your in love with them. You'll invite them over and you will hang out and do whatever and then his mood will change again. When you ask him to leave he will not. He will block you from leaving the room, he will shove you, he will sit on top of you, he will slap you. Once it's all said and done you are left there, alone, crying, holding your face, wondering what in the world you did so wrong that he would physically harm you. You go without talking to him until the next day and when you wake up he has texted you numerous times, he has called you, left voicemails explaining how truely sorry he is and can't believe he would do that to you. That your the only one for him, and that he'll do anything to make it up to you. DONT FALL FOR IT. Because I did. And the process repeated over and over and over again. And I never did anything about it because he always threatened me. He told me I didn't deserve to live, I should go kill myself, no one wants me alive, everyone hates me. Then he would apologize. He made my self esteem basically non existent and I started to believe he was the only one that cared about me because of the things he was brainwashing in my head. None of my friends nor family liked him and they wouldn't be around me if he was there. He was manipulating, condescending, and flat out violent. One day he came over because we were arguing and I would not let him in the apartment. Once the beating on the door stopped I assumed he had left. I walked out of the apartment to see if he had left and sure enough he hadn't. He grabbed me from behind, threw me against the wall and proceeded to choke me. He let go after a few seconds and pushed me against the wall and then left. At that time I knew I had to get away. I had never been that afraid in my entire life. I changed my number, I moved apartments, I got away. Now, with this being about 3 years ago now, I still have trouble with men. I am afraid of them. I am afraid if I say something wrong I am going to get hit, or pushed, or choked. I have tried to seperate the relationships but I think there is always going to be this little part of me that thinks that this man or the next man might hurt me. I hope that every woman out there takes the appropriate pre-caution to keep these types a guys away from you. Im glad I got out when I did because I believe that if it woulda kept going on, I wouldn't be here today.

Ladies stay strong. Thanks~someone who took up for me when I need it.

~K