Peacock Bells

I really had to name this post that. I went to my cousins wedding on Saturday. Everything was done in peacock feathers. NO JOKE. The wedding was okay but it was horrible at the reception. There were hardly any young people. I didn't take anyone to the wedding, which I shoulda. Well the person I originally planned to take, couldn't make it anyway. It was just wrong some of the things that went on at that wedding. I wont go into detail about it but here is a photo of my aunt and my cousin (the one who got married).



Anyway, yesterday was Valentine's day. Major drag for all the single people out there. Especially after attending a wedding, then arguing with a certain someone. You know I really get annoyed with people who care about you only when it's convient for them, or if you dont respond to their text messages or phone calls. Im sure I have been guilty of the same thing a time or two, and maybe Im not the best at expressing my emotions but I try to let people know I care about them. I guess I was feeling hurt. You know that pain in your chest that won't seem to go away, and you can't hold back the tears?... Yeah that's pretty much how I felt yesterday. Well until I got back home. I went to dinner with some of my closest friends last night to this place called Italian Villa in Lewisville. It was good to spend time with them because the last two weekends I have been out of town. They made me feel a lot better and I even broke a few smiles every so often. I guess this weekend was just so frustrating because when you attend a wedding, every girl, pictures what theirs would be like. The roses, the dress, the people... With me, I can't picture anything. I feel like Im just not ever meant to find the one who is meant for me. In a lot of ways that's my fault. I know I tend to run from my problems, I guess because I don't want to face them alone.. and what else did he say, oh yeah, "Quit placing the blame on someone else." Well for your information, Im not blaming anyone else but myself.

I am going to make this a good week. I think I need to rid out all the negativity in my life. I've hit rock bottom before and I was almost there yesterday. I don't want be there at all. I have to mind the pieces in my life and move on. Thanks to all those who know how to make me smile.

xo.